What Did I Do Wrong?...

After back from relative's house yesterday, I finally went out with my father. It has been sometimes now when I last met with him. I don't know I should feel happy or excited about seeing him after so long...

Before I proceed, I want to say I shouldn't be posting this on my blog. As my blog stated forbidden memories, which means memories that I kept to myself, hidden and locked in the depth of my mind. Simply means things that I do not wish to share with others even those closest to me.

I don't know is there any misunderstanding but all I said was my car requires a change of engine oil. Thus, I did not drive the Proton Wira yesterday. I did not ask grandfather to take the car to service. Instead, I drove my mom's car along with my brother in the car, I went to fetch my father. Just as he requested, I passed him the bills and letters he asked for. Then, we set off to a nearby mamak store near his house. On the way there, I noticed my driving isn't his liking. I know I am still an amateur at driving. I will apologize for my drivings style.

When we reached there, we sat down and ordered beverages. Afterwards, my father started to say something to me... Mentioning I value my friends more than my siblings... This was not the first time he said that to me... I know what he said is right but I do not know what I did that made him said that. Furthermore, I did not do anything to my siblings. In addition, nowadays I rarely hangout with any friends of mine. You give me pocket money and told me to spend it carefully. I did not ask money from you. Honestly speaking, I never spend money recklessly unlike my sister. In fact, I rarely spend money. I've been going out less and managed to cut my petrol spending to RM20 in 3 months time. As for my meals at university, I only order teh tarik RM1 daily. Maybe you don't like it when I go Genting and Malacca during my holidays instead of going to work. I know I don't know how to earn money and only know how to spend money, but I tried my best not to burden you. That's why I tried my best to get a scholarship.

I can understand that you're upset maybe because business is bad for you recently and you want to unleash your frustration on me. But I really don't know what I did wrong. My brother was sitting next to me and he did not get any scoldings. Just like you never scold your daughter even if she is the one at fault! I'm always the one for you to put out your anger on... I respect you and I look up to you as my hero. I tried my best at my studies just as you wish. I receive more scoldings than praising from you. However, I will never hate you. I'm not saying I'm not at fault but rather confused and don't know what I did wrong. I think you will never be proud a son like me...

Regarding Kampar, I still don't know I want to go or not. But I think I do not have a choice and it's too late to turn back now. Hopefully, things will be different for me. Away from things that will become a forbidden memory.